One of my best friends is in need. She told me she needed to talk and my first thought was another fight with her boyfriend. I met her in the parking lot of our local store. Before she told me what was going on she made me promise first to listen to everything she said before I spoke and to not tell anyone. I agreed of course.
Well she took off her shirt and showed me her bruises. Her and her boyfriend got in a major fight. She wanted to let me know she did fight back. Deep down inside I knew this would happen. All her friends knew it would happen. But some how we go on with our daily lives like nothing is going on. She wants to stay with him!!
I am a little afraid that things will seem better and I will forget this and then he will hurt really bad or kill her. I want to shake her and make her wake up, but we all know that will not work. All I can do is listen and remind her people don't change.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Birthday
My sons birthday is next week. He is turning 12. Wow they grow so fast. We are going to have a party for him and my husband is not sure he wants to invite his brother. There has been some tension there lately. You know how families can get. I would like to see my husband push past this and invite his brother. But that is not my call.
Of course all this has been causing my husband stress which makes him anxious. When he feels that way everything at home has to be just so. He likes things neat and in order. Which I am not even close to that. Don't get me wrong our house is clean and neat but I like to keep all my paper work on the kitchen table spread out. Well he hates that. I hate when he makes me pile it up. That causes me stress.
On top of all this my daughter is moving in to her new home which needs alot of work. They were going to move in this weekend now after I sent out the party invites she decided they want to move the weekend of the party.
Of course all this has been causing my husband stress which makes him anxious. When he feels that way everything at home has to be just so. He likes things neat and in order. Which I am not even close to that. Don't get me wrong our house is clean and neat but I like to keep all my paper work on the kitchen table spread out. Well he hates that. I hate when he makes me pile it up. That causes me stress.
On top of all this my daughter is moving in to her new home which needs alot of work. They were going to move in this weekend now after I sent out the party invites she decided they want to move the weekend of the party.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Back on Track
We seem to be back on track. Thank God!! I think once he gets things off his chest he feels much better. I have to admit I still go back to when we lost the house we were going to buy. I still feel the pain in my heart. It will be a year in 4 days. I think it might take another year to really feel better about the whole house issue. When I do think about it my eyes tear up my chest hurts. My husband and I have heard the word no for so long now you think we would be use to it. When people say it was meant to be that to me feels like a sack of shit.
Some times it just seems that life isn't going your way. You sit back and watch your friends have their good times, yes sometimes bad times. It seems to be more good then bad. They go on vacations have great Christmas's' and birthday parties for their children. You just wonder what you did so wrong in life to be where you are.
Don't get me wrong I know there are people alot worst off then me. We just seem to be stuck in that spot of too much money for help but not enough to pay all the bills on time.
Some times it just seems that life isn't going your way. You sit back and watch your friends have their good times, yes sometimes bad times. It seems to be more good then bad. They go on vacations have great Christmas's' and birthday parties for their children. You just wonder what you did so wrong in life to be where you are.
Don't get me wrong I know there are people alot worst off then me. We just seem to be stuck in that spot of too much money for help but not enough to pay all the bills on time.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Worried
Things seemed as if we were going back to the old ways. My husband has been getting angry at everything again. I tried to do what our therapist said to do but it did not help. So then I get angry. Which turns in to a major fight. Well it was time for our therapy apt. He didn't want me to go with him. I said this is our marriage so its our problem we need to go together. I called our therapist two hours before our apt. letting her know I needed to talk about how my husband has been acting. So she took us in individually for about 10 minutes each.
Well I found out several things that have been his triggers. One our daughter bought her own house. (In the past we were all going to buy a house together, the buyer of our house backed out. It broke our hearts) Then the guy who it his car with the company truck told him since he did that now he not getting his raise. He said it has if my husband should not have said anything. OH WELL. He doesn't deserve a raise.
So now that everything is out in the open I hope things will come down. I not sure how to block this out. I need to find a way to listen and not take it personally.
Well I found out several things that have been his triggers. One our daughter bought her own house. (In the past we were all going to buy a house together, the buyer of our house backed out. It broke our hearts) Then the guy who it his car with the company truck told him since he did that now he not getting his raise. He said it has if my husband should not have said anything. OH WELL. He doesn't deserve a raise.
So now that everything is out in the open I hope things will come down. I not sure how to block this out. I need to find a way to listen and not take it personally.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Camping Trip
My son left for his school camping trip today. The will be gone for three days. I am excited for him but am at the same time worried. He dose have a bit of his fathers temper in him. All the kids will be staying in cabins. I am really hoping that they don't get much rain. They will be going on hikes rain or shine. This is not the first time he has been away for several days. He did go to Florida with his older sister this pasted Christmas.
So the next few days will be just me and hubs. We really don't see much of each other durning the week since I work nights and he works days.
My husband finally got his car back from the accident. He is really happy with the new paint job. It dose look much better!
So the next few days will be just me and hubs. We really don't see much of each other durning the week since I work nights and he works days.
My husband finally got his car back from the accident. He is really happy with the new paint job. It dose look much better!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Cooking
I do have to say things have been better. Even when one of his coworkers backed into his car with one of the company trucks he wasnt mad. Now that surprised me. I dont know if it was because he is going to get the paint job for his car he always wanted or something else.
The one thing that still sets him off is our son. He can not handle our son getting angry over his games. He just wants to go upstairs and rip the system out and throw it away. So over the weekend I discovered this show called Cooking Yourself Thin. II thought I would try a couple of these recipes. Since I work nights I was going to make two meals in the same day. Well since my husband was not handling ours sons temper on his games very well, it meant he cant handle anything well. Now here I am cooking for my family (which I don't do much of) and he is getting mad saying it was too much and I was making a huge mess. He said noway was he going to help me clean up. Did he enjoy the meal I made? Of course he did.
Now do I look at this as he was stressing over our son and let it go? Do I bring it up later and say how it made me feel?
The one thing that still sets him off is our son. He can not handle our son getting angry over his games. He just wants to go upstairs and rip the system out and throw it away. So over the weekend I discovered this show called Cooking Yourself Thin. II thought I would try a couple of these recipes. Since I work nights I was going to make two meals in the same day. Well since my husband was not handling ours sons temper on his games very well, it meant he cant handle anything well. Now here I am cooking for my family (which I don't do much of) and he is getting mad saying it was too much and I was making a huge mess. He said noway was he going to help me clean up. Did he enjoy the meal I made? Of course he did.
Now do I look at this as he was stressing over our son and let it go? Do I bring it up later and say how it made me feel?
Monday, April 27, 2009
About two weeks ago the three of us went to therapy. I think my husband and son need to go together. It just so happen that my son was off from school because of spring break. I think it went well. But I do believe they need to go more often together. Well this past week has been a little tough. My husband wanted to trade in his motor cycle (which I was not happy about) and was turned down for a loan. I should tell you its the same company he has the loan now through. I believe its all to do with the bad economy. We just paid off our car and had no lates on our report.
The reason I tell you all this is because now my husband will be in a funk for at least a month over this. So alot of bad moods. Which for him means he needs more control. Even though I know all this it doesn't make it any easier on me. Which means things have to be done his way. I want some control and end up spending money we don't have. Also I get a little pushy when he is acting all controlling which cause problems also. Top it all off a check bounced.
The reason I tell you all this is because now my husband will be in a funk for at least a month over this. So alot of bad moods. Which for him means he needs more control. Even though I know all this it doesn't make it any easier on me. Which means things have to be done his way. I want some control and end up spending money we don't have. Also I get a little pushy when he is acting all controlling which cause problems also. Top it all off a check bounced.
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