WOW

I have to say things have been going really good. We have had two counselling appts since I last posted. We decided we needed to do more things together. We talked about bikes in session. To be honest I really didn't think anything would come from that. But that weekend we went out and bought bikes. Now its a family outing! My son loves to go riding with us. Its mostly a weekend adventure. I agree I would stay in the living room when I read so my husband doesn't feel alone. The thing he needs to work on is trying to talk to me while I'm reading. I give him the warning "Do you want me to go upstairs?". That gently reminds him of our agreement. So we went for our next appt. there wasn't much to talk about. So the next appt. he will go by himself. He needs to work on several issues he has.

Feelings

We went to counselling last week. We got alot of things out on the table. This week has been good. Not sure if its just holding back or its real change. I don't know where my feelings are right now. I guess I have been numb for so long now its hard to find them. I have lost so much of my self that I am not sure what I should be feeling. My one girlfriend has been helping me by getting me to go out with her. It really helps alot. Sometimes I feel like a teenager trying things out for the first time. We go again on Monday. We have a homework assignment. We need to grade our marriage. Its different aspects of our marriage we need to grade. We are not allow to discuss it till our appointment. Then after that we need to think about it for 2 days before we can talk about it again. I think we may be far off on alot of things. I will let you know.