Its been week out of the house

Ok I been out of the house for a little over a week. So far he has done his own laundry(using fabric softner for soap), ran the dish washer and feed our son. I have been running back and forth taking our son to school and picking him up afterwards. Alot of gas! He did have his first therapy appt. Which wasnt much just asking family background. He goes back next week. I miss being home but dont miss being yelled at. Life would been better if he left, but I know that would never have happen. My feelings now are mostly missing my home. At first I was thinking I missed him but I beleive it more my house. I dont know at this point if there is any feelings left. I dont want to hurt my son.

The last week

Well started a major fight over nothing. I thought it was all over that day, then the next day he starts again. So for two days I do everything to avoid him. I dont talk to him I watch tv in a different room. Thinking he will understand I dont want to hear it again. Of course he finally admits that I had nothing to do with what caused his issue. But is still very angry and takes out on the whole family. I told him I was done. (which I have said before) He didnt beleive me yell at me if your going to say do it. So I did it! Found a place to stay for awhile and left him. Now he scheduled an appt. with a therapist. Well at this point that means nothing to me. I know walking out of the house could cost me my home, but how can I keep living with all that yelling?

Clever Girl Goes Blog: Tia: A cure for what ails you.

Clever Girl Goes Blog: Tia: A cure for what ails you.

The next 10 years

The guy who I enjoyed his company lost his job and left his wife. We lost contact. I became pregnant with my son. Well after awhile the company my husband and his friends worked for closed down. Of course the friends went their separate ways. My husband took a job at this one company and could not handle the work load. He got laid off because of all the problems he caused. His anger issues became very bad. He was banded from one place he was making delivery's. I told him if we didn't get help I was leaving. So we went to counselling. It helped why we there but as soon as we stopped it started again. I found out he stopped taking his meds. So for awhile I gave them to him with out him knowing. This helped alot. After awhile I stopped doing that and he wasn't as bad. Our next bad fight was when he felt he had every right to spend our money on a motorcycle. Well we went to counselling yet again. He promised to give up drinking for the motorcycle. Well that lasted about two monthes. Yet again when counselling was done things slowly went back to the way they were.

The Friends

Well after we were in our house for awhile my husband started hanging out with friends from work. Every Friday after work he would go to the bar. Instead of getting mad I would me him there. One of the guys from his work got close to my husband so him and his wife would come over a lot. Well I found out this guy was attracted to me. Well we use to flirt with each other all the time. We started sneaking kisses. Boy did we kiss a lot. We never had sex. I would have to say that is one of my happiest times in my marriage. My husband seemed to be a better person durning this time period also.

Todays fight

I want to jump to today because husband is pulling one of his childish ploys. It started the other day. He came home from work in a bad mood. Of course at first he tries to act like hes not upset but he cant hide it well. After a little bit of nudging he finally starts saying whats bothering him. He says his bother told him that he is normally a clean guy but that he smells. Of course this has to do with the way I wash the clothes. One time I made the mistake of telling him I forgot to put the clothes in the dryer and had to rewash them. So he thinks that I am the cause of his stink problems. So I told him the basement smells of mildew and I don't complain to him to take care of it. So today he starts with the complaining first saying that I didn't clean the stove. Well I was cooking on the stove. He says I mean from yesterday. He knows he does it better than me and we have talked about this. But his excuse is that he is tried. He is always tried. He hasnt done anything about the weeds out front. So then he starts with his brother again saying that he stinks. He gets me so mad and then says he is to tried to fight. My mistake is letting this go for so long. I dont know how to end it.

The House

I really thought once we bought our own house things would be much better. Wow was I wrong. If you are not sure about your marrige dont buy a house. Well he hates to cut grass. We only have a very small section that needs to be cut and still he dont want to do it. The one time I cut it he got mad cause the neighbors saw me do it. He's not embrassed about the tall weeds but that I got them. Fixing something in house well if he does do it I get the dirty looks (like why are you doing this to me). Or he breaks something and its everyones fault but his. But when I break something I didnt know what I was doing. I like to leave the house when he is doing something so I dont get all the wrath.

The first five years

There was alot of fighting I would leave for a day and of course come back. The house had to be clean at all times. My daughter could not be playing in the living room when he got home from work. He never cooked or did dishes. Even when he was out of work for awhile. We had a tiny apartment. There were good days but looking back it seems that its easier to remember the pain. At this point he wouldnt hit me cause he knew I would call the police. Boy did he threaten to. I quess because of that I would throw things sometimes at him. We moved to a different apartment and he got a different job. Then the whinning started about how much he hated his job. Everytime he had a bad day he would want to quit. Hes a truck driver on the road most of the time. He would have to unload the truck and bring it in to the store. The stuff was always to heavy for him. I think that thought came from his father always telling him he was to small for hard work. He would never look for another job. My thought is if you hate you job start looking for something else. The one thing I hated the most was how he would tell me to go clean up the kitchen. I mean there would be one bowl or one spoon in the sink and I have to go clean it.

The beginning

I want everyone to know that how man acts when dating is going to be the way he acts married. He may change a little with age, some things better some things worse. My husband has a temper. He had when we stated dating and God only knows why I stayed with him. He hit me and screamed at me all the time. I do want to say the hitting has stopped. I think one of the reasons I stayed with him is that we had a child together. Plus low self esteem. We have been married for over 20yrs now. Just because we are still together doesnt mean things are good. I do regret getting married. I will write more at another time. Please feel free to ask any questions.