New Moon

I watch the "New Moon" movie and really enjoyed it.  Since I have read the books I am in no hurry to pay to see the movie at the theater.  Waiting for it to come out on DVD is just fine with me.  I have my son hooked on the movies.  I will be reading the newest book by Stephenie Meyer. The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner: An Eclipse Novella (Twilight Saga)

It will be out in hard cover June 5.  I would love to see her continue the story where the last book left off.

Confused

Lately I have been depressed.  I am more confused then I have ever been.  I feel that going to therapy I should feel better.  But it seems the more I go the more I feel I need to work on.  What my true wish is to get me back.  I feel I lost myself somewhere.  This is not where I have planned to be.  I always felt I would have a friend who would drop by for no reason other then to say hi.  I feel I have given so much of my self to others and have not gotten that in return.  I feel that way about my job also.  The more you give the more they take.  Sometimes I just want to say f@@k the world.  When will it be my turn.  I listen to people be all the time.  The worst part of that is that when I am home I am so tried of listening I can not hear them.  That is not right.  If I am going to be really honest I am starting to not hear anyone any more.  How do you take a break from that. 

Reading

I just finished reading    " The Footprints of God : A Novel
I really enjoyed this book.  For me books are better then tv.  Its a good escape from the everyday stress.

I have to say the one problem I have with reading is that I sometimes cant finish reading it fast enough.  I find myself skipping parts that seem like they might not be important.

For me the best time for reading is in the summer.  You can sit out side enjoy the sun and still be entertained.

Foot fetish shoes

We bought a new fridge this past weekend.  For the first time we have one that dispense water and ice.  My husbands brother-in-law came over to help hook everything up.  Well I have to tell you something about our brother-in-law, he has a foot fetish. Plus he has a crush on me.  When he got to our house he says I have something for you.  It was a pair of nine west shoes.  He says he found them at a yard sale for $2.00.  He says his wife did not want any thing from him. 
But he also told me not to tell her he gave me the shoes.

Sounds a little fishy to me.Nine West Women's Rocha Platform Pump,Green Synth,10 M US

Would you wear the shoes??

The talk

I had my second session. We talked about what I wanted out of counselling and issues with my husband. I feel since he has been in counselling for over a year and only a few things have changed whats the point. Are marriage is still at a dead end. He doesn't see it that way. He thinks everything is fine and dandy. Which I don't understand. He reads into other things so much and thinks the worse of every other situation. Why does our marriage not make him worry? Any way the therapist asked me if I talk to him about what my issues are. I told her when I do say something he says OK he understands but a few days later we are back to the same old same old. So what is the point of saying anything. She thinks it may be a communication skills.
Well I tried yesterday and told him how I feel I do everything for him. I go out of my way to do things that will make him happy or do things to not get him upset. How I worry when he gets in my car that the car is not to dirty or that he wont have to fiddle with the radio to find his station. I explained that he wont even do little things for me. Unless its also something he is into also.
I guess we have to wait and see what happens.

Therapy session

Well I had my first therapy session. The first session is mostly about your family history. Then you talk a little about what you want to get out therapy. This is called your goals. As I was talking to my therapist, I realized that I have more issues that need to be address then what I thought I did. You go in thinking its not me its him. Well I need to work on me. I believe I like this therapist better then my husbands. I am looking forward to my next session. I am hoping that fixing myself will help fix my marriage.

Therapy today

I have been reading my "Excuse begone" book and was been very positive. Till, I got home one night and my husband was awake. It only took him 15 minutes to knock me on my ass. He is so full of negative thoughts. I tried so hard to keep thinking positive but the more he talked the more it just faded away. I don't know if reading this book is going to show me that I can get past his negativing thinking, or I need to leave him.
Today is his therapy appt. He suppose to ask the therapist if we can go separately to her or do we need separate therapist. I just know him going by himself is not working.